Monday, May 21, 2007

Dark Side of the Rainbow

Rainbow Connection

Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side?

What the fuck are you talking about? Given all day to think about this, “Over the Rainbow” is the only song I can come up with that even remotely approaches this description—and at last count, it is hardly “so many.”

Rainbows are visions, but only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide.

Because they’re refracted light. Light has a.) nothing to hide because it is light, what usually exposes things and b.) it doesn’t even count as inanimate object, so this is a bizarre personification.

So we've been told and some choose to believe it.

Prior to this song, not one person ever told me, “Man, them rainbows are hiding something,” so again — what the fuck are you talking about? Anyone who believed that theoretically rainbows might have had something to hide, but are choosing not to, has serious problems.

I know they're wrong, wait and see.

Who’s wrong? Who? The people who told us “rainbows have nothing to hide” or the people who “choose to believe it”? I’m so confused and this song hasn’t even gotten past the first damn verse.

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Connection to what? To what rainbows are hiding from all of us? Leprechauns? Is this that whole pot of gold thing and all that? Because I’ve been dreaming of that for some time.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered when wished on the morning star?

More questions about stuff I’ve never heard of. I’ve heard of “Star light, star bright, first star I’ve seen tonight” supposedly having wish fulfilling powers, but no one ever told me it was a lock. No one ever guaranteed shit. And the morning star? I’ve heard less about it’s magical abilities. In fact, nothing.

What I can tell you about the morning star is that it was associated with both the goddess Venus and Lucifer, though neither one of those personas were ever considered particularly free handed with the wish granting end of things.

Somebody thought of that and someone believed it. Look what it's done so far.

Aaaannnddd that would be what? I defy anyone to point to a measurable, observable thing we could say had accomplished anything, especially wishing on stars.

What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing and what do we think we might see?

Comets, eclipses, meteor showers, UFO’s, I dunno.

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.

Well, you won’t find it star gazing, that’s for sure. Rainbows aren’t visible at night, buddy.

The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Them either.

All of us under its spell. We know that it's probably magic.


Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?

I’m sorry, but that’s fucking creepy. That would creep the fuck out of me if I was lying in bed, half asleep and suddenly I heard voices where there shouldn’t be.

I've heard them calling my name.

Even fucking creepier. If you’re hearing voices and no one you know is calling you, either someone is tyring to lure you out of the house to rob or kill you, or you should be taking some kind of anti-psychotic medication.

Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors?

God, I hope not…Jesus, I never realized what a truly, truly scary song this is…

The voice might be one and the same.

Again, I sure hope not.

I've heard it too many times to ignore it.

No, no, ignore it. Carol Anne - listen to me. Do NOT go into the light. Stop where you are. Turn away from it. Don't even look at it.

It's something that I'm supposed to be.

No! NOOOOO! Don’t go…

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers and me.


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