Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Live Blogging Lemon Kiss Cookies

Ms. Critic, aka flakygenius, made these cookies for Easter. They were a big hit with a woman from my work who asked if the wife would be interested in making them for her soon to be daughter-in-law's wedding shower. I asked Ms. Critic, she said yes.

Long story short, end of the year exams, a social life that puts mine to shame, and a dinner invitation the night before the cookies were needed turns a "yes" into an "oops, I forgot."

Needless to say, that means your humble host, who will bash Kermit the Frog and Neil LaBute without distinction, will be donning the apron, the chef's hat, and the Official Cookery Thong in order to present the following recipe:

Lemon Kiss Cookies

1 & 1/2 cups sugar
3 cups butter
2 Tbs lemon extract
5 & 1/2 flour
3 cups chopped almonds
2 (12 oz) pkg Hershey's kisses, unwrapped (naturally, dummy)
an unspecified quantity of powdered sugar
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 Tbs shortening

I. In large bowl, combine sugar, butter, and lemon extract, beat until light and fluffy. Add flour and almonds; beat at low speed until well blended. Cover with plastic wrap; refrigerate for 1 hour for easier handling. Shit, this is going to take all friggin' night!

More later when I've accomplished step I.

So completely and totally not me.

UPDATE (Not ten minutes later): It really scared the shit out of me when I plugged in the hand-mixer and someone had left it turned on. Thought I might lose a finger there.

UPDATE 2 (11:45p
m): Realizing the exact shortage of lemon extract, I opted to halve the recipe. This should be no problem, as the above recipe was doubled, and the original claims to make 6 dozen which is how many I've agreed to make. I doubled the recipe to have some left over for myself and the family, but that plan is right out. I've also opted for a little switcheroo and to make half the cookies with dark chocolate kisses and half with regular.

Anyway, mixers are a pain in the ass. I have litte bits of cookie dough in my chest hair (it's so hot I'm cooking in just shorts--and the Thong, of course) and there are sprayed bits of sliced almonds all over the counter, but for now, the dough is in the fridge cooling.

I'm on to step II.

II. Peel 72 Hershey's kisses--and don't eat too many.

LATER UPDATE (1:25am): Well, I've gone to the cooking part of the process, and let me tell you, step three, roll dough into little balls, then flatten, place kiss in middle, then cover up with dough before rolling into new ball and placing on cookie sheet--all that, is sticky and messy and I hate it.

But then you bake for 8 to 12 minute until slightly golden brown on top and until the cookie has "set," whatever that means. But it's all so tasty. Step IV. where I melt the chocolate mixed with shortening and drizzle over the top of these after dusting them with powdered sugar. Yeah, I'm doing that tomorrow after a good night's rest.

LAST UPDATE OF THE NIGHT (1:47am): Well, the final batch are in the oven right now, with three extra cookies, one for me, one for the wife, and one for the kid. Yum yum. I got it done and if I do say so myself, these weren't nearly as difficult as the wife made them out to be. This in-between step is to take them out of the oven, let them sit on their baking sheets for one minute, then transfer them to a cooling rack.

After I take my sister and her husband to the airport tomorrow morning, the kid and I will return to the house to sprinkle the cookies with powdered sugar, then melt chocolate to drizzle over top of that. I will take a picture of the completed cookies, and you will thrill to my culinary acumen!!!!1!

NEXT DAY UPDATE (11:09am): Okay, with some help from the Kid, who actually spent more time shovelling handfuls of chocolate chip into her chops, we finished the cookies. I let her use the flour sifter to sprinkle the powdered sugar. The cookies are now sort of drying, letting the chocolate drizzle on top dry. They don't look so fancy on the baking sheet in a haze of powdered sugar, but later, when we get back from the playground, where one of us will work out her chocolate related hyperactivity, I will set them up for presentation, then film them in all their splendor.

LAST UPDATE (3:35pm, though this was all finished much later): And here they are, folks, fresh from my camera to your eyes, Lemon Kiss Cookies.

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